Where I currently work there is a supervisor who always tries to pump up one of our programmers. Whenever he gets the opportunity, he comes over and starts chanting, “Come on Jean!”

It is really hilarious and addicting. After hearing it a million times, we all are now addicted to saying it.

Come on Jean!

I used to work with this guy who blinked all the time. It wasn’t a normal blink either. It was sort of forced. I remember going to meetings with him and he would progressively get worse when things got more stressful. I had to concentrate on not laughing it was so bad. Sometimes I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than his blinking. I was entranced.

I was thinking that I was the only one who noticed this as no one ever said anything. I was speaking to this girl in the office one time and I said, “Do you ever notice how Allan sometimes blinks weird”? Just like nothing she says, “Oh blinky”. I busted out laughing. They had named him.

I worked with this guy who always hit on the boss. She was a middle aged divorced woman. He was in his mid 20’s tall and good looking. She used to eat it up. He loved to play her.

All of us guys were always disgusted by the displays whenever they occurred.

After he would do this, the guy would always sit there and read the paper while we all were on the phone trying to clear up our files. Many of us would also work weekends. Mr Compliments never did.

The kicker that finally made me move to another job was when there was a new job opening for a manager. We all had about the same time in the position and applied for the job.

The interview was with this woman. Guess who got the job.

I used to work at a place where they allowed people to wear shorts and sandals. There was this one ‘very large’ guy who worked in the cubicle next to mine that had to have had the smelliest feet I have ever smelled. He wore sandals and you could actually still smell him for almost a half an hour after he had left his cubicle. The smell eminated the whole office. We used to die there!

Complaints to management didn’t work. I don’t think this guy would have actually cared anyway.

I worked with this guy in the Quality Assurance department of a large travel company.

He was a very personable friendly guy. The whole department loved him and he always had time to ‘hang out’ during work hours. Often times he would be at my desk for up to an hour. Afraid to lose my job, I would just have to turn my back on him and continue to do my job. He just kept talking.

Then, he would go to the next person in our department and start talking away.

I had seen a college degree framed in his cubicle. It was a degree in Computer Science. One day he blabbed and told me his salary. He was making almost twice as much money as I was.

I told him he deserved to make that kind of salary as he was a Senior Quality Assurance Analyst and I was just a new guy. Also, I did not have the degree in Computer Science. I only had a BS in business from a state University.

I asked him about his Computer Science degree and if it was hard earning it. He said,”Nah, it was easy. I just paid this college $5,000 and filled out a form. They gave me the degree due to my ‘life experience’.” Life experience? I was confused. What are you talking about, I said. He said, these schools these days value the life experience people get working from jobs, so they provide you with a diploma.

Basically the guy bought his degree. The degree looked all official. He said that when employers call the school, they just verify that he earned the degree from the school.

As time went by I found out that he was in Quality Assurance for only six months and was given the title and salary of Senior Analyst due to his degree! The company I worked for, major travel company, was completely duped!

He told me that his wife did this too. She had a GED. Never graduated High School. She was working as an office assistant. Then, got the ‘life experience’ degree and was now a marketing manager for a well known company. She went from making $10 dollars and hour to making as much as he did.

I actually went to college. Killing myself to study, pay student loans, etc. Unbelievable.

I used to work at a auto shop in Silver Spring, MD. The owner tells me first day of work, “we open promptly at 8:00″. I worked there 4 months and NOT ONCE did the guy show up before 10 o’clock. The guy was also paying me cash every friday. One week he said he’d pay me on monday because he was short the money. So for a while he started paying me on mondays for the previous week. Monday became tuesday and after a while I was getting paid on Fridays for the previous week. Then I took a week vacation and so I didn’t get paid for the previous week. When I got back he said he had paid me. Man, I wanted to break his jaw. He said he’d pay me ‘as charity’ but that he doesn’t pay vacation time. I couldn’t believe it. I just took the money and didn’t argue, figured I’d be out of there soon anyway.

One day I asked if I could use the shop after hours to work on my own car. So I show up around 8 pm and the shop is full of bikers doing crack!

I left the shop a week later. A week after that it was shut down. Nice hey? Drugs will kill you man.

I started a new job one time. I was hired the same day as this Network Administrator. Due to not knowing anyone else, I stared to hang out with him. He was an intelligent and well spoken guy, so it took me a while to catch on to things he was saying to me.

He first told me that he had his own company and employed 40 full time people. He took this job because he needed to get away from his business and the business pretty much ran itself. He also would say stories like he worked at American Express and he was in charge of their IT department. He graduated High School at the age of 12 due to being so smart.

As time went by, I would ask him more questions regarding previous things he would tell me. He didn’t have a college degree. I would always try to see what he did when he was 12 years old after high school. He said he worked at American Express and worked with innovating numerous things that American Express had done with networking their offices.

Things seemed riduculous to me often times. What kind of a company hires a 12 year old kid to set up their networking? Isn’t that illegal?

He also always told me that he was engaged to a girl who had been a high paid model at one time. He would always talk about how beautiful this girl was. Constantly.

I would think, man this is the luckiest guy in the world to be marrying an ex model.

Then, his stories started unraveling. One day, he was dropped off from work by ‘his model’ fiancee. I was walking in to the building when I saw her drop him off. At first I thought, damn, who is that nasty girl dropping off Kevin? She was extremely overweight and had a bad case of acne. I walked in to the building with him and I asked him where his car was. He told me this story of how he was car jacked over the weekend, and the police are looking for the car, so that was why his fiancee dropped him off.

Later that day, a guy I worked with told me that he was outside having a cigarette and he heard Kevin on the phone telling the police that he was apologizing to the police and he did not ‘dump’ his car there.

That was all he heard. At that point I started talking to this coworker and we told eachother all the stories this guy had told us individually. They were all different. Apparently he was making up so many lies his stories were all over the place.

We found out that he lived in a trailer and had dumped his car in the hood down the road from where he lived. He tried to make a false claim to insurance that the car was stolen.

Here is a good story my workout partner told me at the gym. This is about a guy he used to work with at IBM.

He worked with this lazy guy. The guy was always getting trouble. He would also disappear throughout the day. The guy ended up pulling his disappearing act one day and was gone for about an hour.

The boss finally caught on to it this time due to needing a completed project in which he had a presentation that afternoon. The meeting was coming up and he could not find this guy. He went out to the smoking area, he was not there. He went out to the parking lot, could not find him.

This was before cell phones, so he couldn’t call him.

The boss then decided to check the bathroom. He looked under the stall and saw this guys shoes. He checked between the cracks in the door jam and found that he was asleep on the stall.

The guy ended up getting fired not soon after that.

This story is a crazy coworker story where I was the coworker.

I just started this new job. First day in fact. I was all excited, and a little nervous. In the morning while having a bowl of cereal, I bit my tongue pretty bad. I had bit my tongue before and no big deal, but this one hurt like heck. It was right in the middle. I immediately went running in to the bathroom and looked at my tongue. Blood was gushing out of it.

As I was looking at it, I saw that I had actually bitten through the whole thing! I had no gauze in the house, so I grabbed some toilet paper and tried direct pressure for about a half an hour before I had to leave.

I was freaking out! I couldn’t stop the blood! I couldn’t call in sick my first day. I figured I might lose the job. I then thought, what the hell, and went to work with my mouth packed with toilet paper.

On the drive in to the office I had my tongue clamped down on the toilet paper. Arriving at work I took the paper out of my mouth and saw that the blood flow was still the same. I chucked the paper down and went in to work with my tongue wedged against the roof of my mouth. That seemed to work and stop the blood flow as I had it blocked.

Arriving in the office, I had to go see my new boss. He was there and he showed me my work area. I spoke as little as possible as I had my tongued clamped to the roof of my mouth.

I did have to talk occassionally. It was horrible. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice. But, when I talked I was swallowing blood. It was a horrible nightmare. I then got introduced to the worker sitting next to me. He was a perceptive guy who seemed to notice me acting all weird.

He asked me if I was all right and I told him the story. At first he just stared at me like I was some kind of a nut. But then I showed him my mouth. He started freaking out saying I had to go to the hospital or something. I just kept running back to the bathroom and jamming toilet paper in to my mouth.

This had to be one of the worst days of my life. At the end of the day my tongue was still bleeding. It took until about 9pm when it finally stopped.

What a nightmare. Â

I used to work at a computer company (made and sold desktops) as a sales person. The company was pretty big at the time and had three stores. The company got bought up by a big government contractor and my store manager was soon replaced by the new company owner’s son. The guy was a total looser. Short, fat, in his late 30’s, big mustache, friendly but dumb. He had a beautiful wife and small child.

All of us salespeople had a tech background or at least strong interest in computers, but this guy was just the owners’ son. Anyway, the guy hires a girl as a salesperson. It was so obvious he hired her because she was hot. I don’t get these people who think nobody is gonna notice. He basically wanted to get in her pants.

After a couple of weeks of “training herâ€? during long lunches, he figured he wasn’t getting anywhere with her. We all befriended the new girl, she was nice and fit in but still didn’t know the difference between a hard drive and a CPU. The manager, to play it off, took all the salespeople out to lunch once. As it turns out, she got romantically involved with another coworker and the manager found out. His attempts to disrupt the relationship were so apparent that it started getting awkward. The guy would call me aside and be like… “you know, I just can’t permit it, it’s against company policyâ€?. Hoping I would agree and be like: “yeah man… it’s just wrong, you gotta intervene”. Instead I was like, “whatever man…you’re just jealous he’s gettin’ some while you’re watchin jeopordy or something”. He didn’t really like me much after that.

For all you morons who think no one suspects you are sleazy scum, seriousely man, you’re an idiot. People are smarter than you think.