CoWorkerStories

Coworker lacks social skills, can’t form a sentence and is a cheap mofo

wowcorker — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:31:30 +0000

I have a coworker who is arrogant, lacks any social skills and consistently pisses off people around him in 5 minutes or less.

Arrogant and Ignorant: The guy talks down to everyone, thinks his few years of experience makes him a freaking genius. A lack of grammar and zero ability to spell correctly adds to his ignorance quota.

No Social Skills: He was raised under a rock. Brings up religion, makes sexist remarks and has no clue he’s being offensive.

Pisses People off: Mr. Coworker is about 15 minutes above being the intern, but spews demands like a Chief Executive. Unsuccessfully mimics the big boss in dress and style and comes across like a douche.

NEVER have food or drink around this flaming idiot because he’ll get within inches of your meal, begging like a 18 month old.

NEVER allow this bumbling fool to join you at happy hour, although given the chance he will invite himself. El Cheapo will drink and eat then claim poverty and never pay his way.

At some point this kid mistook his colleagues for mommy!

Can you believe this woman?

alex23 — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:50:16 +0000

Where do I even begin? I have a co-worker, I will call her Shanaynay for anonymity. Shanaynay has been working for our department for four years, going on five. She is an administrative secretary; basically she does peoples photocopies, filing, etc. You would think that someone in her position would be quiet and willing to help, WRONG. This woman will pick and choose what she wants to do, and since she is the office aide she will tell her supervisor that she has too much to do and can only do certain things….she says this, but than I see her posting pictures on Myspace and making a résumé for her baby daddy (who is 29, but yet to finish his GED). Her grammar is horrible and her writing skills absolutely atrocious. She even had the audacity to tell me, an Executive Administrator that she should have my job because her associate degree in office management is far better than my BA and MA, and makes her by far more qualified. I bit my tongue because I know she speaks out of ignorance and poor upbringing. Further more, at one point I took pity on her and let her borrow my daughters walker (she has four kids from different fathers) and let her take it home so her little one could enjoy it. Well, she brought it back today and it was filthy. It was smeared in dirt, and her family’s hair was all over it, black coarse hair. It was very disgusting. I don’t know where the walker has been, so I just threw it in the dumpster. Further more, she is on public assistance, yet she can some how afford a new car, iphone, and gets her nails done weekly. She get’s mad when ever any of us receives a birthday gift from our boss (usually a 150 gift certificate to somewhere) because she claims she never gets anything, even though when baby #4 came along, the department showered her with a new crib, travel system, and playpen, high chair, and several of the things on her baby wish list. This woman is so unreal; I don’t know why she hasn’t been fired already!

Project Manager

eightperhour — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 18:13:59 +0000

I used to work at a company where the Project Manager was the guy who actually managed the project from start to finish. He used his experience and knowledge to help guide the project correctly and to completion. Now I work at a place where the project manager just harasses people so that they complete their projects on the project list. Is this what he is supposed to do? He works for our tech company and is completely non technical. He knows nothing techical, doesn’t know how to check the project to see that it was done correctly. He just walks around harassing people by getting timelines, etc on projects. When he is not doing that, he is hanging out in the kitchen talking to whoever he finds and explaining endlessly to them how hard he is working. AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Labor Department Caveman

bunny — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 02:11:11 +0000

Of all the undesireables at the US Labor Department, the pathetic macho-man wannabee named Dave Meyer takes the cake.� Dave is a skinny, short little Napoleon.� If only he were six feet tall he would really whip the world. Alas and alack, Dave is a mealy runt with one kidney and no back-bone who thinks telling racial and ethinic “jokes” in the office and making unwanted sexual advances at women makes him big and strong.� Dave is a Senior Executive Service, which means he gets paid about $150,000 a year.� But don’t mistake the pay with any qualifications.� Dave got the job because his mother-in-law had ties to the Administration and got him in so he would be able to support his family.� I call that feeding off the common trough.

A Crazy Lady

Rilaly — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 21:10:05 +0000

I work at an online company. This company rewards it’s employees with a month long sabbatical for tenured service. While on my sabbatical, my department made a number of hirings. One of them was a crazy lady that they decided to place right in front of me. Did

I know that she was a little crazy, of course not. She appeared to the naked mind to be a perfectly ordinary, if not pleasant, individual.

I did notice, on my first day back, that she talked to herself a lot. No big deal, I thought, she’s new. She’s trying to work herself through these difficult and overwhelming cases. That first day, I paid little to no attention to her. The second day, she began talking to herself when I sat down at 8:00 am to the point when she left at 5:30. Boy, I thought, this girl is certainly struggling. I could see her get a little frustrated, but I understood such a dilemma, we’re all new at one point in our lives. She did talk to herself A LOT though. The third day was something different altogether however. On the third day, she started silently screaming at her computer. She was going off. Her head was bopping, and her teeth were showing. I glanced around to determine the source of her frustration. I couldn’t find anything. Rather than subsiding, as the day past, her frustrations grew as the day progressed. I am not usually phased by much, but I had one foot pointed to the door in case some sort of progression occurred.

She pulled out a cookie. Presumably to calm her nerves, or she may have been diabetic. I still don’t know the answer to that question. I would never go so far as to say I’m a macho male who feels no fear, but I’ve never felt fear watching someone eat a cookie before. The manner in which she devoured this cookie, however, caused me some trepidation.

This woman laughs at things. Uproarious laughter. She has no headphones on. She turns to the left and the right on different occasions, and she laughs. On one occasion, she placed a hand between her breasts and apologized for laughing so hard. She wasn’t speaking to me, the person unfortunate enough to be in front of her, she wasn’t speaking to anyone.

When she speaks casually to herself, she gesticulates to expound her meaning. She flails her arms about in a fashion one will at a party when they are having one hell of a time.

I wondered one day if she is talking to people in the future or the past, or is she one of those rare individuals who–like a Kurt Vonnegut character–is unstuck in time, and she’s living in the past, the present and the future at the same time?

I wondered one day–if I started talking to myself, laughing, and yelling at my computer screen–what she would think of me? Would she make it a point to ridicule me? If she did ridicule me, would she be doing so because she was unaware of her own activities, or would she be ridiculing me to suggest to all around her that she wasn’t one of those people who did such crazy things? Would my activities provide her with a chance to define her own character by lifting herself up above those who engage in such activities?

The other day she stood, looking at a fellow employee named Natalie. The lady was hovering near enough to Natalie that Natalie thought she had a work related question. Natalie is a senior agent on our team. “What’s up?” Natalie asked.

“Just stretching,” was the lady’s reply.

“Sean, she was standing completely still.” Natalie informed me.

My reply: “Did you ask her what muscles she was stretching?”

She eats her ear wax. She pulls it out, examines it, and occasionally eats it. I often wonder what her selection process involves. What’s a good batch and what’s a bad batch?

I wondered one day, if I cracked a joke about people who eat their own ear wax, what her reaction would be. Would she laugh from a distance at such foolish people, or would she defend her fellow ear wax eaters? “Hey, I eat my ear wax, how dare you crack on my people?”

Email Mistake

eightperhour — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 23:13:39 +0000

Recently I screwed up an email while I was away on a business trip. I was using the companies web email and received a notice from the Administrative Assistant. I clicked the ‘Reply’ Button to answer the email. In the email I put information that I only wanted the Administrative Assistant, my friend, to see. After writing the email, I clicked the send button. As the email was sending, I found that the entire employee roster was on the email. I tried to stop it, but it was too late.

Not being all too familiar with the companies web mail system, I unintentionally had clicked the ‘Reply All’ button and had to face the music of sending the entire company personal information in the email.

Nice job.

Do you have any coworker email stories? Respond to this post, I would love to hear some.

Screaming Bosses and Bullying

eightperhour — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 23:16:11 +0000

After just reading a story online about bully bosses, I remembered a great story from one of my ex bosses. This guy was a major bully. My first day at work, I had to do some work at the computer. He was training me.

As I was sitting at the computer the guy started saying, “Use the rubber band Mike”. I thought to myself, huh? He said it again after a few seconds. On the third time he yelled, “Use the rubber band zoom!”, and pushed my hand out of the way and did what he wanted.

Rubber band zoom? He highlighted the image we were working on with his mouse. This is what this nut job called the rubber band zoom. At the time I didn’t know as much about computers at the time. I thought I was just stupid. Now I know who the stupid one was. He was a complete bully boss and loved to scream.
As a final note, as an ex-military person, I found this site the the other day, Lackland Air Force Base. That is where I trained for the USAF. If any of you have any good military coworker stories, please post them! There are some great stories of guys I used to be in the military with.

Smelly

eightperhour — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 20:23:54 +0000

I used to work with this guy who really smelled bad. He was a very strange person to start off. He did not talk to anyone. But the thing that sticks out in my mind was that he smelled really bad. He was also unkempt looking. He appeared to be a very good programmer, but he also showed up whenever he wanted. We all started work at 8:30am and he would start work at about 9am. He was also leave at 4:30 instead of 5:30 like the rest of us.

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Marketing People

eightperhour — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 23:46:55 +0000

I worked at this online company where we used to have a bunch of hard working programmers. While directly working with them I knew how hard they really worked. We would always come in early and stay late. We would have to come in late at night oftentimes due to server issues, etc. The same thing went for weekends.

Then, we had the marketing group. Over time by becoming friendly with one of the girls in the Marketing department I found out what a real mess it was. These people would spend their days fighting with one another regarding boss favoritism along with whom made more money than the next guy. At the end of the day, basically our company website ran itself through good search engine results. The Marketing team, which was as large as our programming team, did little to nothing as far as bringing us new business.

The� Director of Marketing� had recently fired one of the hardest working people I had ever met. She was a very hard driving person. She landed a great deal with a major airline to use our services on their website. In return she received monthly commissions. My friend told me.. behind the scenes, the Director of� Marketing seeing how this woman was making more money than him, due to this huge contract, came up with the bright idea to fire the poor woman. In his contract he had a clause that stated he would receive all commissions� due to his staff if they would leave the department. So, using his great forthought he decided it would be better to� bad mouth her to the President and fire her rather� than have her get more clients for the� company (which he recieved a partial� commission on !!! )� .

I have since left the company and recently checked on the county tax rolls in my area for the Director. He recently bought a new house assessed at over 1.3 million dollars.

I wonder what happened to the poor woman who was fired. Probably eeking out a paycheck at some crappy company like the rest of us.

Worst Boss Stories

eightperhour — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 21:04:37 +0000

Here is a story about probably one of the worst bosses I ever worked for.

I had this boss one time who would not give the time of day to any male coworker. As long as you were a cute� young girl, you received the best treatment and salaries.�

Our IT department was pretty much composed of good looking girls who did nothing.� Myself (a guy) and my friend another guy were forced to work late hours, and basically hold the department down while the girls in our� department flirted with the boss all day.

He was a decent looking guy, but they treated him like Bradd Pitt.� They played him so well.

The� most disgusting thing about this story is that the boss got himself fired for harassment of one� of these women who was married. I don’t know what happened but they used to spend hours behind� his office’s closed door.� Then, he was gone.

Anyway, it was my job to� organize the department� after he was let� go. I didn’t get his position, but got his keys to the� files.� I almost had a heart attack when I saw that� myself and my friend, who would work� weekends and run the department were the lowest paid two in the office.

Who says that women get paid less. I� guess this boss tried to fix that problem in one shot. �

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